Mommy Diaries : Happy Mother’s Day to me !

It as been 11 months since I became a mom. 11 months of “Aww so cute..”,”Nishi put that down..”, “Please sleep baby … “, “Please don’t cry … “,”A kissie for amma … ” . It has been one hell of a ride.

Mine was what they call a high risk pregnancy, a fancy term for telling us that anything that can go wrong will go wrong, in my case ,it did. I knew this and went ahead with it anyway. After all at the end of it , the prize was worth it 🙂 . Now, I read all these articles one group claiming that mommyhood is the best , the most important job in the world (read hallmark) and the other group trampling over all the feel good factor of stay at home mom, questioning having kids is the right thing to do in this over populated world. And now am confused…

I quit my job , put my career on hold, gave up my financial independence to be a mom and now these people are raining on my parade here. All this got me thinking ( I really dint have the time to put it down till now) , was it worth it ? The real answer is I dont know. After almost a year of being a mom am not sure if it is the all roses. It is mostly dirty diapers, sniffles at night , high pitched crying, no date nights , no fancy restaurants, no serious therapeutic shopping trips  ………. But it is also about wet sloppy kisses,  discovering which funny face will prompt laughter, about the next cute toy which will make her day , revisiting all the childhood nursery rhymes……..

No seriously what has the last 11 months been about ,

1. You realize that you start looking outward , beyond the small little universe you have built around you. You start thinking beyond yourself. You put someone else’s need beyond your own (how zen!).

2. Making someone else happy is important that is not only your child , it is also the other people who care about your child.

3. Your relationship with your husband takes on a new deeper meaning. You have created something together, that is not easy to let go of . I think it completes your circle. It is something to be experienced.

4. Your child’s life intersects with yours and this causes major changes. Just because you gave birth to your child does not mean that you control any aspect of their life. I believe that their fate influences yours (I am all about Karma!)

5. Having a baby does not stop you from who you want to be. You baby certainly does not tell you to stop living your life. Your baby wants to live life with you. Share lives . You don’t need to give up anything. Everything is on hold but its not a full stop.

6. Parenting is a very important job but need not be the only job in the world that is absurd. No matter how hallmark / archies justify it. It is just a facet of your identity not your whole identity.

7. It a marvelous adventure , where you will end up no one knows .There is nothing right or wrong here.

People who don’t want to try it , nothing wrong but you miss out on an experience. You miss out on getting to know one hell of a person whom you have created. But it should always be a choice . You should not have kids because someone else wants you to have them that is just wrong.

Happy Mother’s day to me !! I think I have grown up (again) with my daughter.