Weird pregnancy old wives tales

I have grown up around doctors and that makes me hesitant to accept any kind of medical advice that does not make any logical sense or that cant be verified by Google :P. Now that I am pregnant, I get to hear a lot of weird ass superstitions from a number of well meaning aunties. I sometimes don’t know understand if I need to give a serious talking to these people or just laugh my head off when they are not looking. The problem is that we Indians are culturally inclined to parrot what ever our “elders”  believe, a few values make sense but most of them don’t. Here is a list of my favorite old wives tales 🙂 –

1. Drink milk with Kesar ( saffron) if you want a fair baby – There you go folks, the ultimate fairness treatment. Being fair is such an obsession that it starts even before the baby is out.Saffron has nothing to do with complexion, that is purely genetic. If they had told me that saffron is medicinal , basically a muscle relaxant to relieve all those aches and pains , maybe I would have obliged.

2. The shape of the baby bump tells you the sex of the child– It must be these old aunties causing all the female feticide as they are experts in determining the bump – idiots. The bump is determined by the mother’s weight, muscle elasticity and to some extent the position of the uterus and the baby, it cannot tell you anything else.

3. If you are having a boy , then you don’t put on too much fat on you face and begin to glow – Who wants a fat face ??

4. Do not cross your legs at the ankles, the placenta also twists to match the position – I mean how , how ? Nothing except the baby can move that placenta and that too it cant hold on to the placenta for too long as it is too thick and slimy. If you tell me that your center of gravity shifts and you may fall, as pregnant women are not great on their feet , I will believe you , but this placenta business is  just weird.

5. Don’t wear clothes which are too tight around your tummy , the baby will have a flat nose – What ? How ?

6. Eat for two – This is the most popular and illogical one. Just think do children eat as much as adults ? The baby needs 300 calories per day in the womb that is half your lunch. The rest of the fat you consume is only for thighs which you later have to reduce.

It is fun to listen to these things but when people come to you with a perfectly serious expression and tell you things , you have a hard time maintaining a straight face. And try asking these people why should you do things they tell you , they have no answer , so they tell you that it is good for you and they have been doing it for generations.